Monday, September 14, 2015

5 Types Of Lecturers In Nigeria Tertiary Institutions

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1. Dr. PDF
This is that lecturer that sends study materials and publications to students’ mail boxes or sometimes to the cla$$ representative; who in turn forwards it to every students whom it may concern prior to the time when the cla$$ finally holds. He comes to cla$$ the next week to explain the materials in detail and answer questions from every students that has one to ask. He even receives and answers questions via e-mail. No doubt, every student loves this lecturer; though they are scarcely in this side of the world.

2. Lecturer West
You know how Kanye West barely smiles, right? Even on his wedding. Yeah, it’s really weird. This is the case of Mr. Kanye West too. He comes to the lecture theatre, scornfully faced, zero smile and begins lecturing. You’ll be making a huge mistake if you’re planning to get on his wrong side. Also, he doesn’t really care if you decipher what he has spewed for the past 2 hours or not. Don’t bother telling him you don’t understand either, because “ Meet those who understand” has always been his reply.

3. Mrs. Anti-Nonsense
This lady lecturer gets irritated at the sight of almost anything any of her students do.
You dare not reply the numerous calls of nature in her cla$$. She’s anti-nature too I guess. She doesn’t condone yawning, sneezing, whispering, murmuring, clapping, sighing and so on. She doesn’t permit sweating too! Oh well!
4. Mr. Ins
Yes. Mr. Ins. is number 3. Don’t even make the mistake of thinking “Ins” stands for inspiration. No way! You’re so far from it. Ins. as used here means “Insults”: in it’s highest form. Ask Mr. Ins a question that he deems irrelevant and you might regret the minute your alarm woke you. “It would have made perfect sense if you were delivered as a log of wood at birth. Carpenters would at least use you to make a board. That way, everyone, including me, would definitely feel your presence in this cla$$”. Those were Mr. Ins exact words to a colleague. He didn’t eat for two days straight.
5. Prof. Einstein
Personally, lecturers in these category are my favorite. They make me grin all the time.
Prof. Einstein is the lecturer that has never had less than 80% in all examinations he has ever written. He comes to cla$$ and boast that he came top of his cla$$ in all schools and institutions he attended. He tells mundane tales of how he reads for 12 hours daily when he was a student. Lest I forget, he “almost” invented a car that runs on cooking oil too. He calls all his student dumb and says he performed way better than they’re currently doing. He even says he once lectured the current President of the country and he his a mentor to the governor. Funny thing is: He thinks the “dumb students” believes him just because he is being applauded; whereas deep down their minds, they’re drowning in a pool of laughter. Haha.

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