Thursday, April 16, 2015

Things You Should Know Before Dating A Short Girl




1. Everything she does is cute and adorable, but do not tell her she’s cute or adorable. She wants to be a S3xy goddess, not “cute.” This means she wants you to make her feel like she’s Gisele even though she’s tiny.
2. Also “tiny” is not a cute pet name. Call her babe, baby, bae — whatever. But do not call her tiny or shorty for that matter (unless you’ve cleared it with her and she’s down with that nickname).
3. Please don’t ask to pick her up. She isn’t a puppy or a baby. She wants to know you respect her. If she wants you to pick her up, she’ll most likely run and jump on you like she’s reenacting a scene from The Notebook.
4. She doesn’t discriminate against shorter guys, but she has her eye on tall men. What? She wants to give her kids a shot at being tall one day, and in her dreams, her 5-foot-2 self + your 6-foot-3 self = a 5-foot-9 daughter/ son.
5. What she lacks in height, she makes up for in personality. There’s a good chance your petite new love interest is a “firecracker,” as some say, which will make you love her even more.
6. You’ll most likely have to bend down or at least strain your neck every time you want to kiss her. But it will be so worth the crick in your neck that you’ll probably get once in a while.
7. Don’t underestimate her. She’s small but she’s probably tougher than you.
8. Don’t rest your arm on top of her head. It makes her feel like her neck is going to break (note: It was made to support the weight of her pretty little head only, possibly along with a motorcycle helmet, if you’re that kind of guy). The arm on her head makes her like your kid sister, not your lover.
9. She likes being little. Don’t make it sound like a bad thing. After all, she can wear the highest heels without looking ridiculous, which she knows makes her tall friends jealous.
10. If you keep things where she can’t reach them, she will make you get them. Every time. So please don’t put her poo on a high shelf.
11. She will always be in high heels, so don’t expect to be able to walk to dinner. And if you do want a romantic night of walking around town, let her know in advance so girlfriend can at least wear a wedge.
12. She is really good at crawling into small places, like the window of your apartment that you’re locked out of. So, on the off chance that you left your window open, she’s got this and you’ll be chilling on your couch in no time.
13. Hold her hand. Always. It’s actually pretty scary to be lost in a crowd of people taller than you, so hang on tight and don’t let go.
14. Any time she wants to tell you something in your ear, be prepared to bend down to her level. Unless of course you’re sitting down. Then it’s much easier to communicate.
15. Unlike the tall girl you last dated, you can put her in almost any position you want when you’re fooling around. Think Cirque de Soleil-like positions like these. Yes, this could be your reality.
16. She makes one hell of a little spoon. She’ll be the yin to your yang and all will be right in the world.

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